MINDFULNESS
Mindfulness is about taking
control of your mind. It is two things: Full Awareness (being aware of
how you are feeling at this very moment in time, physically and
emotionally) and Attentional Control (staying focused on one thing at a
time) there are three states of mind in DBT mindfulness: Emotional Mind,
when one acts just based on their emotions, Reasonable Mind, when one
acts on facts, and the coveted hybrid of the two, Wise Mind. Wise Mind
is when one can act in accordance to their emotions but at the same time
use their knowledge of the facts that go along with engaging in a
behavior and come to a rational decision for themselves. Note that
rational does not always mean what society deems right. How does one acheive Wise Mind??? There are six steps:
- Observe: Just notice the experience in the present moment. Don't push away or judge your emotions, experience them.
- Describe: Label what you observed in the step above with words. ex: "I feel sad." or "This orange is moldy". Remember to only describe. DON'T JUDGE! This is key.
- Participate: Lose yourself in the experience. Don't be self-conscience or dwell on yesterday or worry about the future. The present is a gift so enjoy it.
- Don't Judge: As we said before, this is key. Don't evaluate things as good or bad. they simply are. Replace statements like "You're an asshole" with an "I Feel" statement, like "I feel pissed off when you do that."The person may indeed be an asshole, but calling that to their attention won't help the situation. Most importantly, don't judge your judging!
- Stay Focused: Do one thing at a time. Leave the distractions elsewhere. Concentrate your mind and live in the moment.
- Do What Works: Don't let the emotions control your behavior. Play by the rules and act as skillfully as you can! Do what you need to acheive your goals. Remember to let go of the negative feelings that just make things worse.
So, to practice using these skills, lie down or sit in a
comfortable position. Choose one thought to observe, like your breath or
the cute kid who sits next to you in math. Keep it a positive thing.
Close your eyes and think about your thing. When your thoughts stray,
realize this and redirect your energy to your object. Do this for at
least thirty seconds, or more if you like.
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